Vicissitudes.. my premise on being..

Funny how life turns out.. From childhood you are led to believe that you are the most special human being on earth. Led on by this fantastical web of tall tales that all your dreams can come true. And that you can do everything you like, and be anything you want to be and still come out the special human being you were born and raised to believe.
But then, in comes major life altering decisions, and we try to make these decisions with this same sense of invincibility ofcourse.. Only to be scoffed at and faced with this hard blunt truth, that this demigod image of yourself, whom your parents idolized (until you decided you wanted to wear sneakers instead of your pink-ribboned maryjanes) was in fact that, just a demigod. Nothing more, nothing less. Bound by earthly rules, stuck in limbo between heaven and earth with this bloated sense of self-worship. Always out to prove something worthy of a god.
And as one task after another fails and disappoints, one grows old. And they simply resign to the big fat fact circle of life.. 
To nest, procreate, raise little demigods, crush the poor little buggers spirits, because heaven forbid, they might think their special, and just might sit out the first 25 years of their lives down at your basement, waiting for that special break that they so rightly and adamantly think they deserve. And then where would you be? Back to sqaure one, pondering on how a special person like you, could spawn such a disappointment ;P 
Funny how life turns out.. Cause if only someone told you right from the start, that you were here on your own terms, god, demigod, or even the commonest of serfs.. their wouldn't have been room for disappointment.

Here's to jobs that pay the rent! Cheers!


9tha Jan 2010 

Post Sabbatical

After that last soul-baring post.. It took me a while to get over myself and bare it all again. It doesn't mean I haven't been writing. I have.. always have always will, but I just wasn't inclined to post anymore of that gushy-free-for-all-rip-my-heart-open-letter to my first love.
I still have those mind you, but I guess it will take another emotionally derranged sleepless night for me to have the courage to post something so brutally honest. Again, I might be eating my words tomorrow.. but what the heck..all the world's a stage..and this is mine. As the saying goes " The people that matter don't mind, and the people that mind, don't matter".
And the previous year has been one helluva chaotic stage, but life goes on as they say.
So thank you to my special tribe, you know who you guys are. And thank you for life's wicked curve balls.

Attroversiamo!

Here Goes Nothing

   Finally! It took me 1 year, 6months, 23 days 3 hours and 15 minutes to finally have the guts to sit down, write and start my own blog. And inspiration can strike anytime, anywhere. In my case, at 3 o' clock in the morning at work looking after a very sick patient. So here goes nothing..
   

   Au contraire, amidst the facebook updates, twitter posts and instagram shots.. I have always been a very private person, I may be wired, synced and logged- but I have been and always will remain a private person. As to why I choose to start my blog, well thats for me and you to eventually find out ( if I'm interesting enough) . 

   I have always loved the written art, literature, history, poetry..these things come easily to me, and I was never properly trained in the art of essay, blog, journal or just plain writing. But I managed to make use of my tenses and verbs and somehow I eventually made sense (well for me anyway). I can't remember how many childish stories I attempted growing up, and I never really thought about keeping them, but yes I had my fair share of fan fiction writing, poetry and yes even song writing ( Atot- my sister can attest to that.)

   You see, I stumbled upon this self-development site online and the one life tip they gave that struck a chord with me at that exact moment was this: START YOUR OWN BLOG, MAKE YOURSELF HEARD and PUT IT OUT THERE.

   So here I am, 28 years old (just! my birthday was two weeks ago) and I have finally decided to go ahead, bite the bullet and JUST DO IT.

   I have been praying and asking God for guidance lately, WHERE DO YOU WANT ME? How can I be of use? WHAT IS MY PURPOSE? ( yes I am one of those people that tend to question a lot- Im sorry mother for the precocious 2year-old that was once me) Now, I realize that one can hardly call "BLOGGING" as ones' life's great purpose- but Im thru sitting back and waiting for God to figure it out for me. I have to actively participate in helping HIM help me find purpose. And then maybe, just maybe, I will eventually find myself.

To cap off, here's an excerpt about happiness and self- discovery from one of my favorite contemporary authors: 

“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.
- Elizabeth Gilbert ( Eat, Pray, Love)

   So here I am WORLD.. from the most mundane and trivial, to life's biggest hiccups.
Do your worst!